A children's book and a preparatory essay for life, in that the outcome of an event is largely dictated by your response to it. This book is designed to help both you and your loved ones make it through the unexpected and embarrassing experience of receiving a dump from the sky.


Much like GPS, you have the option of two different voices. 


If you like this book, like the message, and like the idea that we can all enjoy birds and forgive them in their time of digestive need, we'd love your help in spreading the word. Yes, someday a bird will poop on you. And yes, it will be all right. 

Click any of these and help spread our message of acceptance: 


Susan Salvi

Susan is an actor, artist, and writer who lives in Chicago. She performs regularly in Chicago at the Second City, at the iO Theater and at other reputable/non-offensive establishments. You can see more of her "work" at various places online, or  FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER, though she sometimes goes through long periods of inactivity.

Megan Kellie

Megan is a writer, actor, artist, and other who lives in major American cities, this time Chicago. She has written for NPR, the Paper Machete and Proper Noun. If you know someone with bedbugs, she's written AN ILLUSTRATED GUIDE TO PANIC. You might want to maybe FOLLOW HER ON TWITTER, too.

Together, they created SOMEDAY A BIRD WILL POOP ON YOU. They also performed together in various improv and sketch comedy shows, and with the group BRICK. They have a two woman show called SPANCY AND JANET TALK ABOUT VEGAS (website pending). In their spare time, they plan a local, hand made craft store with mustard, printed socks, and homemade flags. Why not email them? Okay: somedayabirdwillpooponyou@gmail.com

Feel more comfortable on Facebook? No problem. We can be located RIGHT HERE.